Of Mice and Me....

Damn mice! I feel like I mix of two characters; Bill Murray in Caddy Shack, and Elmer Fudd. Yes, go ahead and have your laughs. But I am PISSED!!! The mice are eating my food!!! The damn thing probably weighs more than I do (though right now that wouldn’t take much). Let me start from the beginning...
Shortly after I moved here, I saw a cute little mouse scurry across the floor, and upon seeing me, ran back for safety behind my refrigerator. Aw, I thought, how nice! He’s coming in to say hello to me. At the time, I didn’t have any problems with him eating any of my stuff,but, come to think of it, I didn’t have any food in the room. To be on the safe side, I asked Chris to send me some mouse traps and cedar chips. Later, I had a counter built with cupboards and slowly started to fill it with food. Well of course you know what happened. But what I can’t figure out is how that little bugger got into this cabinet. It’s not attached to the wall, there are no holes in it, there is only a little crack less than 1/2 inch at the very bottom. Amazingly, that is what it takes for these little guys to get in. And once they’re in, there is nothing they don’t want to taste. They chew through zip lock bags, aluminum foil, heavy plastic and wood. Most times they don’t want to eat the thing inside, they just want to taste it. The problem with that is that once the hole is there, that is a gateway for the gazbillions of ants I have. (Look for upcoming blog on ants. Wahoo bet you can’t wait!!!)
I would buy some crackers or noodles and the next day there would be a corner of the package chewed open and just a small bite taken out of the food. I opened up one closet where I keep all my books and paperwork and paper was shredded all around. I opened up another closet where I keep my bags and utensils, and they have eaten through my roll of plastic wrap. Plastic wrap!!! The whole role shredded into tiny pieces. What the heck? I was getting worried because I was expecting some packages from home and I definitely did NOT want them getting into my US food!!! I needed to take some action. I need to put on my Elmer Fudd hunting cap, and think like the mighty hunter himself! The heck with wabbits, I want to find me some mice.
Plan A: I thought I remembered hearing that mice don’t like the smell of cedar; like moths, and if you spread around cedar chips, it will keep the mice away. So I spread the chips through out my closets and cupboards. A couple of days later I noticed that there where now piles of cedar in the corners. Then I remember when my kids had hamsters they used cedar chips as a covering for the bottom cage. Great! I just gave my little mice a nice comfy home in my cupboard!!! Ugh, they are probably scurrying off to tell their buddies what a cool landlord I am!
Plan B: Mouse traps. In the states the bait I used was peanut butter. It always worked. You spread a little on the trap and it would do wonders. I took 3 traps, lathered them up with ground nut paste (Ghanian peanut butter), set them under my table, counter and in my closet shut out the lights and went to bed. I knew in a matter of minutes my mighty traps would do their magic...Nothing...As I drifted off to sleep I thought for sure I would be awakened in the middle of the night to the sound of the trap going off. I woke in the morning having slept with no interruptions. Bewildered, I got up and checked the traps. They were all there with no mice! Apparently Ghanian mice don’t like ground nut paste. But, ants LOVE ground nut paste!!! I just increased my ant population by 50 times! Great!!
Pan C: Bread. What mouse can refuse tasty bread? See, being the Mighty Mouser that I am, I know all the secrets. That is what puts me in the same league as Fudd and Murray. The next evening, I break off pieces of bread and get ready to make my death trap. However, using bread is much different than peanut butter. With peanut butter you just spread it on and it sticks. How do you put bread on? It just falls off the trap. But, no worries us hunters are verwy twicky. I found a rubber band and, after several attempts, managed to attach the bread to the trap. Now, mice, it’s time to say goodbye!! The Great Hunter has you in his sights!!! Watch out you Wascals!!!
Do you know that time of night where you are just drifting off; the conscious world is fuzzy, as the floaty dream world takes over? Well, that is when the mice come. I hear this scratching/chewing sound that pulls me from my slumber and forces me back to reality. I lie awake, trying to figure out where the invader is- my cupboard, table or closet? Groggy, I try to sneak out of my bed and get tangled up in my bug net that I have around my bed. Yes, a bug net. I am sure you’ve seen them in the movies. They work quite well actually. It’s a net you drape around the bed to protect you from all the creepy crawly things that want to suck your blood; and trust me there are a lot of those creepy crawly things here. At least the mice are just trying to eat my food and not me!
I finally get untangled and sneak to the cupboard and open the door. There is the trap not sprung, but, the bread is gone! I check all the others and find all the bread is gone in them as well. Hmmmm..... these are very smart mice. Not only smart, but well rested in their cedar beds and sleeping soundly with a full stomach; probably dreaming of what nice food they will be treated to next.
Well, one thing you don’t want to do is piss off a mighty hunter. Bill Murray never gave up hunting that groundhog, nor Elmer in his efforts to get Bugs Bunny. I am not easily discouraged! Unfortunately, what I shouldn’t have done is try to rebait the traps in the middle of the night when I am half asleep and pissed. But, I did. And yes, the traps work. Quite well actually. I have bruises on my fingers to prove it. Man that smarts!
Plan D: Crackers. Crackers are bound to work. Right??? After all, I know they like them, cuz the ate most of them already!! So last night, I set them. In the dark of dawn I awakened to a CRACK!!! Ha, I say to myself! Who is the Master now??? Teaches them for messing with somebody with mighty hunter instincts like myself. I force myself back to sleep, not bothering to check the trap; I’ll wait for the morning to see my bounty.
I bounce out of bed in the morning with a spring in my step. I think to myself, this is what Elmer must of felt when finally got Bugs Bunny. I pause, wondering DID E.F. ever get B.B.??? Of course he does.... I just missed that show. I shrug it off, and think about breakfast. I am famished! This hunting is hard work!! After I clean up the breakfast dishes, I decide it’s time to claim my bounty. I open my closet and the trap has been moved. It is under some dirty clothes. No cracker... No mouse. WHAT’S HAPPENING????? Maybe these mice are smarter than me? No...A hunter like me can’t loose to a stupid varmint! After all, Bill Murray won his battle against that evil groundhog, didn’t he?? Gulp. Well, if this is the last blog you get from me, you will know who won.